A Stitch In Time Saves Nine??

Bad news travels fast.

I do hate to be the bearer of bad news. But in this case I simply must point out that there are a few flaws in the wisdom passed down to us from yesteryear.

Sometimes, I don't think that all the facts were known when the great proverbs of the English language were coined.

First, April showers may bring May flowers, but I gaurentee you that March showers bring April weeds first. And green as the grass may be on the other side of the fence, the weeds are always greener on my side.

The weeds do, of course, prove that "birds of a feather flock together." Simultaneously, I'm glad to report that they disprove the principle that "there is safety in numbers." And, happily, we already knew that being "in for a penny" we would be "in for a pound." As they say, "forewarned is forearmed."

I can also take comfort in knowing that weeds choose not to "divide and conquer" to their own eventual ruin.

If only I could take equal comfort in the thought that "time heals all wounds." Time alone can not heal this wound. Instead, we really must depend on "many hands" to "make light the work." Sadly, there is little to show for our labor. For though diligence is called the "mother of good fortune, " in this case it is only a sad fortune that is "here today and gone tomorrow."

Despite the threat that "opportunity seldom knocks twice," I am personally convinced that the weed kingom is entertaining tomorrow's opportunities before today is even over. Of course I feel that this is a terrible "insult added to injury."

Fortunately, spring and summer don't last forever. They say "he who laughs last, laughs longest." And so I shall. All the winter long. At the same time, I'll disprove another cliche. For I am quite determined that absence shall not make the heart grow fonder.

Meanwhile, permit me to remind you that "a friend in need is a friend indeed."

Also that I have a yard full of weeds.

And misery loves company.

Back In The Day

Have you ever wondered why the climate of our nation today is so much less "moral" than it was when our grandparents were born?

Not to point fingers especially, because I don't think the shift can be pinned down to one particular cause...

But last week I was looking at a lovely selection of historical photos from our area. Among the pictures was one which was especially intriguing.

It was the picture of a highschool graduating class from 1910. Each young person is holding their diploma, and they are standing around and underneath a huge arch. The words emblazoned on the arch?

Wisom.
Love.
Excellence.
Cheerfulness.
Courage.
Industry.
Faith.
Knowledge.
Temperance.
Obedience.
Patience.
Courtesy.
Loyalty.
Virtue.
Perserverance.
Reverence.
Charity.

Tried looking at a modern highschool yearbook lately? Or newspaper snapshots of a graduating class?

Why I Shop At Thrift Stores

Usually, if I can't find it at the thrift store, and they don't sell it at the grocery store...I buy it at Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, I don't like the current sleepwear selection at Wal-Mart. And the thrift store rarely sells nightwear that is in good shape.

So, naturally, I have been arguing with myself for months about where to buy another nightgown.

This week, when my head went through the wrong hole, the argument was over.

I went to the mall.

I had a mild headache when I went into the mall and briskly steered my course toward J.C. Penny. It is really too bad I was looking for flannel. I didn't have to look long before I realized that J.C. Penny was fully stocked with springwear, with not a scrap of flannel to be seen. Not a scrap under $30.00 either, of course.

Disappointed, I headed for Ross.

Then Macy's, clear at the other end of the mall.

I had a ragging headache by the time I wearily stepped back into Penny's. I had concluded that Penny's carried the least worst of about three dozen evils, and I would try one of their nightgowns on.

You would have had to be there to believe how long it took me to find the fitting room, tucked into an obscure corner of the store. I was already frustrated when I crossed the fitting room threshold only to be startled by a loud BEEP! By loud, I mean I could easily imagine that everyone in the entire mall now knew that SOMEONE had entered the fitting room.

Meekly, I slipped back out the fitting room door (to the tune of another BEEP!!), and warily looked around for an employee to come rushing up and hustle me out...or call the police.

Nothing happened, so taking courage in hand, I peered through the opening to see if there were any instructional signs about fitting room use. Seeing none, I stepped in again (BEEP!!!). Staring at the inside wall, I found a sign which instructed me to "ask any associate to let you into the fitting room."

Guility, I dashed out. (BEEP!!!)

An older woman was standing near the door in the jeans section, and she gave me quite the quizical look. By this time, I felt like a little child. And I'm sure I sounded like one to everyone else in the store. Sheepishly, I explained that I didn't know whether I should go in and use it or find an employee. Smiling, she instructed, "Just go in."

So I did. (BEEP!!!!)

The nightgown was way not what I wanted.

Plus, I had to redo my hair after pulling it on and off over my head.

I left the fitting room (BEEP!!!!), put the nightgown back, and officially gave up the hunt. I plodded wearily back to the car.

Just as I was about to get into the car, I realized something was missing. With a sinking feeling, I realized that I had entered the mall carrying my wallet and that, now, I didn't have it. With an even sinkier feeling, I realized I must have left it in the fitting room.

I prayed all the way back into the mall. And then even harder, as I trundled back into J.C. Penny. I was in a state of breathless suspense by the time I dashed through the fitting room door (BEEP!!!!).

It was still there!

Praising the Lord, I barely heard the final BEEP(!!!!) as I escaped the fitting room, left the store for the third time that day, and went back to my car with a pounding headache.

The next day, just for fun, I took Abigail to the thrift store to look for a new dress to wear on Easter. We browsed racks full of decently priced clothing. There was a lot of variety. We could have bought a wardrobe for the entire year under that one roof. Silently, I went in and out of the fitting room many times.

Smiling, I left the thrift store with a nice warm nightgown in good shape. It cost me less than $5.00.

THIS Is The Question:

How can snails be cute when slugs are so incredibly ugly?