Stop! Read The Directions!!

I do the grocery shopping for our family.

And I take some degree of pride in how quickly I can complete shopping for seven people for one week's worth of supplies.

Yes, the keyword to this story is "pride."

Yesterday, as always, I finished shopping promptly. It was with the deepest satisfaction that I pushed my Very Full Cart into the shortest, most quickly moving line and began unloading it.

It takes a while to unload a Very Full Cart.

About a quarter of the way through my unloading, I noticed people checking my line to see how short it was, rolling their eyes and moving off. Sadly, this is somewhat normal. Did I mention my cart was very full?

About halfway through unloading the cart, I heard the voice of my checker over the loudspeaker, requesting further helpers at the checkstands.

In my final burst of energetic efficiency, I hadn't bothered to look for directional signs before getting in line. Now, hearing his distress call, I looked at the sign above my head with a sinking heart.

My face reddened. My efficiency was no more a shining halo on my head, but now a badge of disgrace the world could stare at.

For there I stood, with a Very Full Cart, half unloaded, directly below a sign that said in Big Bold Letters fit for the half-blind to read:

"Express Checkout
15 items or less."

Did you ever hear that "pride comes before a fall"?

It's true.