For Future Reference

* Performing an activity that creates open wounds beneath your fingernails and following it up by slicing lemons is not recommended. The sensation that will result may remind you of that caused by cutting your knees on barnacles, and then continuing to swim in salt water.

* Don't forget that 10 x 80 equals 800. Remembering may save you an embarrassing moment or two.

* If you suffer from insomnia, don't bother seeing your doctor. A sure-fire way to ensure for yourself a good night's sleep is to make yourself in any way responsible for any part of putting on formal banquets every other night for a few days. Bonus points if you are the last one to leave. And if you want a dreamless sleep, plan to follow the final banquet with serving an informal lunch for forty the next morning and then returning home to prepare dinner for company.

This concludes your November edition of Friendly Tips from Katie. We will now return to our regular programming.